Listening to: Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now

The sky was dark today but somehow I managed to avoid all the places where it rained. A reflection of my current emotional state maybe.

Went out with Zhu today; she messaged me in the afternoon and Samuel cancelled on me, so... we had dinner at the food centre besides St. Joseph's along Victoria Street.. strolled to One Fullerton, talked about us... and times long past... had a drink there... then sent her back, promptly bumping into her parents at the stairs.

She cares... she still does. But when something stirred within me, the feeling was all wrong, not right. Why? It just reinforced my feeling of not being ready, of not being responsible, right now.

If my heart could change so quickly, surely it wouldn't take much to change it again?

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Tears and fears and feeling proud, to say, "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I've looked at life that way
But now old friends are acting strange they shake their heads, they say I've changed
But something's lost but something's gained in living every day

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all