gentle musings

listening to: gloria estefan - cuts both ways

dear journal,

this phrase has been floating in my mind for some time...
'life is wasted on the living!'. if i remember, it came from the book 'dune' (frank herbert).

six words, but what six words, that carry so many related and suggested connotations!

we exist yet we do not truly live. someone said that we have become a generation indulgent in watching the world pass as by, just like we spend endless days and nights on the couch watching television. why aren't we playing tennis - instead of merely watching people playing it?

it seems to me easily explained. human beings wrap themselves in a cotton-wool of sorts; self-pity and aggrandizement. we cannot do this, we cannot do that; we are restricted by the walls society has built around us, both mentally, socially and physically. the dead don't. we haven't learnt the lessons of yesteryear, to 'carpe diem' - seize the day.

and about love. we are too scared to love, to look inside the abyss of our heart. when we do so, we imagine we see utter darkness or a thing of brightness; either way, we then either treat love with contempt or turn it on its head, becoming not a beautiful thing, but a side show to life. we seek but do not find, and we find something by the wayside, and tell ourselves that 'oh, this is a good enough thing for me; if i love, let me love on my conditions'. we do not see that if we truly love it would already naturally be on our conditions, on our terms. i do not say that we must love.. just that those who seek to love often grasp its form but not its spirit..

we do not know all aspects of life... and it is very likely that all of what i've just said only holds true for those who look at life through my eyes, with my mind... yet the living often forget this, and instead of gently accepting our differences and perhaps even celebrating them, we seek to impose our views on others. even those who say, 'yes there are differences and we are open to them', often only hold out this rule for strangers, but not to those they know well. oh, rabid foolishness...

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Our love is like knife
That cuts both ways
It's driven deep into my heart each time
That I realize
How it cuts both ways
Can't be together
Cannot live apart
We're heading straight into a broken heart
But I can't stop

'Cause I feel too much to let you go
I'm hurting you and it's hard I know
To stay and fight for what we've got
Knowing it'll never be good enough
'Cause you and I are dangerous
We want too much and life ain't that way
Don't ask for more
Don't be a fool
Haven't we already broken every rule

It cuts both ways, we're in too deep for sorry alibis
Can't have regrets or even question why
We can't say goodbye
Because it cuts both ways
No more illusions of the love we make
No sacrifice would ever be too great
If you would just stay...