Listening to: 93.3FM - yong3 bang1 - ni3 shi4 wo3 zui4 shen1 ai4 de4 ren2

Sure, I did a lot of things, went out with loads of my friends these past 3 days... but screw it... screw it all... I'm sorry... bB... joycie... everyone...

I want to cry again... but tears just won't come out... found her page... it was in an email.. and all those memories... and those memories that I let slip from hand, consciously, of my own free will - those memories I will never have... came flooding back... and I thought I'd given them all up... once thought I could say, friends again, friends ever... how wrong I was... lack of direction begets inaction... inaction begets regret... and regret begets remorse... how about the others before her? And the others before them... one day it's all going to come out in a great rush of unmitigated thoughts... and maybe I'd go mad... Ivan was right... as long as I continue talking about them... I haven't given up the shadows of the past...

And the radio seems to conspire against me as well.... is there such a thing as dry tears?

I stop and think... not talking about me... she not thinking of me... yes... selfish of me maybe... or is it the thing we said on that airy night, along Collyer Quay? The thing which we talked about, her heart heavy, mine light... the choice we made... hers - to choose to look for a love without expectations... and I, I chose to take the course of a friendship, and I chose it in the vein of the weather.. airily... light-heartedly... dear girl... now I know how you felt that night... truly, madly, deeply..

Ignore me... I'm being metaphysical...